10:28 AM thiago: dude i need a BF
10:29 AM hooking up casually is exhausting haha
me: it is
why do you say that?
10:30 AM what happened?
emotionally exhausting that is
10:31 AM nothing happened, im just bummed out that i liked the boy and i wont ever see him again
thiago: im not a tourist in rome, alas
me: no, you are not.
10:32 AM thiago: seriously, i wanna date, tho… im 31 and i havent properly… [redacted] is like that too… we never dated properly
10:33 AM me: well, I know [redacted]‘s reasons. What are yours?
It’s okay not to settle down until now.
thiago: what are his?
dating is not settling down!
10:34 AM I mean, ending your days of bachelor loneliness with a wild husband.
thiago: i dont know mine, maybe his will enlighten me haha
me: he hates himself.
happens a lot
10:35 AM thiago: no i dont hate myself tho yeah self sabotage is often involved in such cases
me: I could give you a nuanced version of the conversations, but that’s it in a nutshell.
What does insabowa mean?
thiago: work hard hehe
10:36 AM thiago: very hermetic brazilian slang
10:37 AM me: is that the gay slang you told me about or something else?
thiago: i have absolutely no good excuse for not having a fuck buddy
me: You’re in Italy, for God’s sake.
thiago: nah its really just nongay slang
me: Surrounded by handsome men.
10:38 AM thiago: the gay scene isnt that great
me: Sometimes I think I want to move to Brazil and just speak that gay slang for the rest of my life.
thiago: eh, alas, im part of a certain scene lets face it
thiago: that might not be prominent here or rather not out here
still closeted a scene in a place like rome
10:39 AM that scene being slightly musclebearish homo geeks who act like lesbians hahaha
10:40 AM oh add socialist to that
and some hippie
its a prominent scene in california i tell ya
10:41 AM i seem to find anything other than that type undateable
10:42 AM those guys are hot though.
thiago: hot nerds, man, nothing like hot nerds
me: I don’t get it. You’re saying they’re there or they are not there?
10:43 AM thiago: no, here in Rome you don’t see much of those… not out anyway… when you meet them they’ re foreign
10:44 AM me: So…you need to capture one while he visits.
thiago: you see bears, gym bunnies, superqueens, tranny chasers, priests, what else
me: just kidding.
say it was me.
10:45 AM say I was in this situation. what would you tell me?
thiago: jack off, keep on banging foreigners when you can haha
10:46 AM me: Oi.
thiago: why do people need scenes anyway
10:47 AM they do tho
me: so they can find each other.
We’re social animals.
thiago: nooo, when you find someone it’s always like they’re glowing in the dark
me: we’re not yet brains with feeding solution bubbling around us while we tap out messages telekinetically on keyboards.
10:48 AM thiago: yet, huh
me: I’m insane, pay no attention.
thiago: well, when we are in theory we wouldnt be able to tell the difference, i never got how the whole brain in jar thing was disproved hehehe
10:49 AM me: We’re moved off your single problem, though. How do we get another brain in that jar over there?
It’s a problem here too.
10:50 AM I wasn’t aware that the internet was the primary social mover here. Despite being on it way, way too much.
thiago: my problems always pertain all of humanity haha
cause obviously theyre not easy to fix
me: Now I am, and things are changing a little. Is there something besides Dlist that can help you find guys there?
thiago: you live in a small place too
10:51 AM me: these guys in Paris have a social network attached to their blog: http://paris.typepad.com/
they’re sort of LA, sort of Paris, but neither of them is French.
So, that’s your scene, right?
10:52 AM thiago: my problem with the online hookup is that i absolutely need to see and hang out with the man before even considering a hook up
and online people want to make very specific arrangements for meeting
the more closeted a society is, the more specific the arrangements
10:53 AM and of course online everyone is a ninja with a huge dick
i cant agree to meet such a ninja and top him in 30 minutes at mine or his place
10:54 AM so getting a guy willing to meet for coffee is pretty hard
me: You’re amazing.
me: Yes, all of that is true.
thiago: yeah, mostly everywhere
10:55 AM me: But that doesn’t mean you don’t try, just because it’s hard.
As someone said to me yesterday, these online things are what you make of them.
Until there’s an international network for slightly bearish homogeeks…oh wait.
thiago: i actually met several good close friends online so the online thing isnt the villain…. closeted idiots are haha
10:56 AM men oughta come out already
me: what about http://www.buttmagazine.com/
they have a network called buttheads.
thiago: my friend was interviewed by butt hehe
me: which friend? Your new friend?
no, an old friend hehe
10:57 AM he was featured recently actually
me: Right on. I have the book.
And the new issue.
thiago: these things in italy are virtually unknown… even dlist is
10:58 AM me: But the thing is, they are known to the few who are like you.
that is the point of it.
You know about it so they know about it. That’s how you find each other.
10:59 AM thiago: in theory haha
me: You can’t tell me you want to date and then dig your heels in with the only solutions.
Ok you can.
but the only other solution is to move.
thiago: no i have a dlist profile
11:00 AM another one is bah, going for the closet kids… i dont like that
11:02 AM the solution is either move where there are scenes or penetrate the italian scenes
its all very guerilla style haha
and kinda old
11:03 AM but its not italy, come on, its me, the problem is always us
11:04 AM which is to say there is no problem
11:05 AM Yeah. I’m actually getting my acupuncturist to help.
He’s stimulating my boyfriend meridians.
thiago: what are those?
me: I’m just kidding.
He’s working on how much I live in my head.
11:06 AM thiago: to decrease that or the opposite?
me: oh, definitely decrease it.
11:07 AM He said something interesting to me about how my pulses ran much deeper than he thought they would.
they were hard to find and he didn’t expect that.
Which suggests something I’ve felt for a while, which is that there’s a me hidden inside me.
who needs to stop treating his body like it’s a jar for his brain.
One reason you may have been single all this time is that you may be like this.
There may be a you in you who doesn’t believe what he wants can exist.
11:10 AM and so you keep him hidden so he doesn’t get hurt.
thiago: it does exist ive seen it
me: but in the meantime he’s starving.
and furious with you.
11:11 AM thiago: one big reason is that i didn’t become a proper homo until i was like 27
me: So you’re still a baby.
me: or a teenager.
11:12 AM thiago: but the problem of scenes and people coming together, and the online and what not… geez someone has to sort that out already, how hard is it
11:13 AM me: We need arranged marriages.
we need gay parents to set it up for us.
11:14 AM i saw something weird and depressive at a gay bar it kinda freaked me out
i thought a guy was cute and i came to talk to him
thiago: and he didnt even reply to me
not a word
11:15 AM eventually walked off
i was like what
then later i heard him speak to another
basically he was supergay
11:16 AM and wouldnt speak to me so i wouldnt hear it
W T F
me: you mean…he had a very fey accent?
or he thought he was better than you?
thiago: yep… and he felt animosity towards me causa i dont
11:17 AM he wanted to keep the advantage
thiago: he basically acted like a chick
chicks do that
they[ll horribly mistreat a guy coming up to them to stay on top of the situation
11:18 AM affff
he was hot, too, i didnt mind the accent, just the personality
me: so he wanted you to chase him?
11:19 AM thiago: probably, he was acting chick like, i dont get chicks haha
11:20 AM fortunately i met the hot hawaiian the same day
me: well, that’s why you’re gay
see? There are no mistakes in life.
thiago: who was a MERKIN and not ITALIAN, damn italians
dude ive been in italy for a year, a year is when you bitch about your new land as an expatriate
me: do you know there’s a thing called a merkin?
11:21 AM thiago: yeah haha
no idea why people would need genital wigs tho
me: I’m so glad we don’t live in those times.
11:22 AM thiago: why did theyuse that??
me: though I suppose an online profile is like an electronic merkin.
I guess we live in those times.
thiago: yeah makes sense
11:23 AM the italian version – versions actually – of craigslist are soooo creepy
11:24 AM thiago: in the good old days of CL in SF you could write a novella on a CL and get your man haha
right down to the most thorough detail
here its transexual hooker ads land
me: Wow. Is that what I should do?
11:25 AM Amazing.
thiago: worth a shot
fun project anyway haha